Barnabas Monkeypants

Although the monkey is still months away from being born, I think it’ll be one and done with having a kid. We have the right to change our minds, of course, so don’t hold it against us if we decide that Barnabas needs a playmate (or something to terrorize other than the cats). But for [...]

I like the posts here on the Barnabas Monkeypants blog to be all-ages. We don’t want to offend our 8-, 9-, and 10-year-old readers now do we? But that’s going to have to change a little for this post, so stop reading if you’re faint of heart.
Okay?
This post is about urinating. You see, as any [...]

About 3 weeks ago, Kristen lost the ability to comfortably lie on her back. For all the things that her body is going through (and there are a lot), I empathize most with this. I don’t sleep on my back myself, but it’s still a very good position when reading or relaxing or getting into [...]

I missed my train coming home tonight — and because of it I had to wait a half an hour until the next one came. The beauty of riding the Metra (a real train) instead of the CTA (the subway) is that you sit on a clean seat with normal people around you and usually [...]

The open-air mall is quite popular in and around Chicago. There you can walk from Macy’s to Bloomingdales to the Gap not in the stagnant air of an enclosed shopping center, but instead outdoors, with the bright, warm sun beating down on your face.
Which seems reasonable considering CHICAGO IS THE COLDEST PLACE ON THE PLANET. [...]

Being a parent is going to be wonderful. I just know it.
And while, sure, the whole father/son relationship will probably be good, and there may be some enjoyment in watching my child grow up to be a young man, I’m really starting to look more at the big picture.
You see, for the past 28 years [...]

When it comes to grooming, I was never an honors student. (Actually, when it came to actual school, I wasn’t an honors student either, but I digress.) When I leave the house, I usually get two different reactions from Kristen.
1) Comb/brush your hair/teeth!
or
2) [looks me up and down] Sigh….
You see, while I’m not a slob [...]

As a parent-to-be, it is impossible not to find something baby-related every second of the day that is unbelievably adorable. I mean, you can’t move without seeing some toy or onesie or stuffed animal that doesn’t get you right there in the gut.
Case in point, bedding. We have to choose something for young Master Barnabas’ [...]

I saw this article, and it really resonated with me. Kristen and I are dealing with the exact same thing with Barnabas. (Have you read it yet? It’s short. Good.)
As many of you know, Kristen has allegiance to the Gangster Disciples, whereas I am firmly rooted with the Latin Kings’ offshoot the Latin Stylers. And [...]

I constantly worry. I keep myself up at night with worry. And with Barnabas coming on the scene, the worry has grown.
While some of my concern is legitimate (worsening economy, $8 gallons of gas, religious wars, sci-fi-style cities with revolting androids), much of it is irrational (sci-fi-style cities with attacking aliens). Unfortunately for me, I [...]