Barnabas Monkeypants

Kristen is a furnace.
During the winter (and summer), her body emanates about 4 kilocalories (or 16,736 joules for you who use the International System of Units) of heat per second. Frankly, I blame her personally for much of global warming and the melting of the polar ice caps. When snuggling in bed, I can only [...]

And probably Canada, too.
You see, I injured my son today. The tiny red spot on his right thigh is surely enough for him to never truly love me, to shun me, to reject me.
This is how it happened.
From when Henry woke up (well, made us wake up) for good at around 8:30 until 2:00, he [...]

There is a great set of photos that Kristen’s father has hanging in his house. In them, there are half-a-dozen different shots of Kristen (KMart portrait studios, she assures me), and while it’s obvious it’s from the same session (her hair and dress are the same in all the pictures), somehow she has a different [...]

One week ago, Kristen pushed and pushed and pushed, and Henry came into this world crying. Of course, I was crying a bit, too. (Kristen was too tired to cry right then and there, but she shed a few happy tears later that day.)
It has been a wonderful, amazing, completely fulfilling week. Even with not [...]

The first couple of days of Henry’s life, I carried him around like he was a brittle piece of glass. In reality — while he’s certainly not ready to go out and wrestle with the neighborhood kids — he’s pretty sturdy. My first lesson in this was when I tried to burp him for the [...]

(Just to make it clear, yesterday’s post was not meant to in any way dissuade you from visiting us. I just wanted to make sure that you all would understand — and not be upset — if we tell you that a certain weekend isn’t good for us or that you coming over right now [...]

There were several reasons why we chose our pediatrician. One, he’s originally from the Bronx (and Kristen and I are both East Coast — like Biggie and 50 Cent). Two, when interviewing him, he was direct and to the point (who needs someone to beat around the bush). And three, he has 30 years’ experience [...]

I’m never sure when to get worried about the baby, whether something is worthy of worsening my impending ulcer or not, so I pretty much worry about everything. EVERYTHING.
On Saturday morning, I was worrying because Henry hadn’t had a poop for more than 24 hours. All I could think of was a clogged innard (to [...]

No new pictures for today — sorry. The environment is getting a bit stale, and Kristen’s going a little out of her gourd having spent the past 48 hours inside (and another 12-15 to go until we leave), and, frankly, I’m not sure how many more pictures of Henry swaddled in his Miracle Blanket you [...]

(Yesterday, as you may have read, Kristen had a rather… aggressive exam by her doctor, one that she suspected would cause some discomfort later in the day. Remember that; it’s important.)
My friend Barb called me at work yesterday, asking about what was happening with Kristen and her lack of timely birthing. I explained what happened [...]