I’m the Worst Father in America
And probably Canada, too.
You see, I injured my son today. The tiny red spot on his right thigh is surely enough for him to never truly love me, to shun me, to reject me.
This is how it happened.
From when Henry woke up (well, made us wake up) for good at around 8:30 until 2:00, he was one continuous ball of fussiness. Never really napped. Always wanted to be held. Ate every half hour. Too much energy and not enough of whatever would help him settle down, it ran Kristen and I ragged.
We had some friends coming over at 2:30, so we had to figure out a way to settle him down. I tried everything: swaddling, shushing, feeding (well, Kristen tried that), swinging and swaying, hugging. Nothing helped.
So I placed him in his little bouncer, turned it on (which meant vibrating it to a nice level that usually calms him), and started to strap him in. Just as I reached around to clip the last strap, he let out a wail that I had never heard from him before.
His mouth was wide open (I actually think I saw his epiglotis vibrating), the screams were piercing, and his arms and legs were flailing about like he was taking lessons from Bruce Lee. I didn’t know what to do. Kristen came over, took him from me, and worked her soothing magic (she really is amazing with him), and I readied the changing table in shame (because that’s what I assumed had happened — he sat in something unpleasant).
Of course, when Kristen brought him over and I looked at him, I saw it: a small, red splotch on his leg where I obviously pinched him while trying to fix the closure on the bouncer. My beautiful child now has a physical (and psychological) blemish that may never go away. Sure, 8 hours later the redness is nearly gone — nearly — but the pain will likely remain in his soul for the rest of his life and mine.
God help me when I have to clip his fingernails.
August 31st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
You influenced us to do the same. We got home and later that evening when Rob was clipping Austin into our bouncer, the same thing happened so now he has an identical red mark on his thigh. We feel horrible.