Barnabas Monkeypants

(Just to make it clear, yesterday’s post was not meant to in any way dissuade you from visiting us. I just wanted to make sure that you all would understand — and not be upset — if we tell you that a certain weekend isn’t good for us or that you coming over right now really isn’t going to work out. Now start planning your trips, people! We need well-wishers!)

A lot of people gave us a lot of wonderful gifts for Barnabas Henry. Kristen’s father got us a stroller. Her cousin got us a high chair. My friend Ryan (the brave soul that he is) got us plush meats. And my sister sent us more clothes than we may ever need.

Tops. Bottoms. Outfits of all shapes and sizes, each one cuter than the next. But I have to tell you — they’re cursed. When Henry wears a new outfit that someone has bought for him, we try and take a picture so we can eventually send that person some evidence that, yes, we did appreciate their gift, and, yes, he’s wearing it and looking mi-tee-fine.

So on Sunday, we broke out a fetching blue and white striped onesie that Rachel bought. Within seconds, he unleashed something god-awful into his diaper and, while changing him, decided it was time to urinate, soaking the onesie.

Yesterday, we tried on a similarly adorable outfit (this one featuring a nautical theme), but after wearing it for only a couple of minutes, he spit up his latest meal all down its front.

Today, I merely pulled something out of the drawer that she had bought him and readied myself to put it on when I heard him pass gas not unlike something Dom DeLouise would release after a particularly grueling dinner buffet. I quickly put it away and made him wear something not nearly as cute, but surely much safer.

I’m afraid what will come next. Will the two-piece winter ensemble cause projectile vomiting? Will the Ralph Lauren light-blue pullover cause our electricity to go out?

I’m almost too nervous to try and find out.

(I promise we’ll have some pictures tomorrow. Right now, all he does is sleep, eat, and scream when he’s not eating or when he’s being changed. I’d rather you see him in some “action” poses — although he did turn on his side in the crib today. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch him in the act, so it still was just a sleeping pose.)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 9:02 pm and is filed under Barnabas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.