Barnabas Monkeypants

There were several reasons why we chose our pediatrician. One, he’s originally from the Bronx (and Kristen and I are both East Coast — like Biggie and 50 Cent). Two, when interviewing him, he was direct and to the point (who needs someone to beat around the bush). And three, he has 30 years’ experience and actually was the pediatrician of my co-worker (so he’s pretty much seen every possible thing that could happen to an infant).

On our last day in the hospital, we asked him when it would be okay to take Henry for a walk, and he said right away, that there’s nothing in the air outside that could harm him and many things that could benefit him (fresh air, the sun, etc.).

So yesterday, we went out on our first walk. It was a beautiful late-summer afternoon, and as we strolled around our neighborhood, I was sure that we would be stopped by at least one person who would want to comment on how wonderful this infant was, how he was surely the cutest thing on the planet. Alas, nobody stopped. And I think a few people even turned their heads.

Jealous, I bet.

You see, I want to show off my baby. I’m so proud of him. I mean, how many other 5-day-olds do you know that are so perfect at sleeping, eating, and pooping? That’s right… not too many.

So, since I’m so excited about the possibility of others seeing our young lad, I’m opening our doors to you!

The hows and whys and whatfors, can be found in the following Q&A:

I can’t wait to be in the presence of young Henry. Can I come and visit?

Of course you can! And you don’t even have to bring gifts!

Great! I’m in the area, and I’ll be there in 5 minutes.

Well, that could be a problem. While our door is (within reason) always open, just give us a call first so we know that it’s a good time, he’s not sick, Kristen’s not exhausted, or I’m not out running yet another errand.

Harrumpf. And I thought we were best friends.

Don’t press your luck, pal.

And for those out of town visitors…

I can’t wait to see Henry. Can we come for a weekend visit?

You bet. Our guest bedroom is always open.

Terrific. I’ve bought tickets for the weekend of…

Wait. You’ve already bought tickets? Please don’t do that. There is often not enough room at the inn, and someone may have already reserved the space. We have a few days booked already, and I’d rather you not have to a) stay in a hotel if you don’t have to or b) sleep on our hardwood floor, naked, cold and alone.

When we get to Chicago, there are so many places I’d love you to show me. I’ve never been to the…

There may be another problem there, bucko. While we can’t wait to see you, we likely won’t have the time or energy to show you the sights. When you get here and have seen enough of Henry (usually most people go insane after staring into his steely blue eyes after only 2 hours), feel free to go journey to all ends of the city. We’ll supply the maps and train schedules.

So what I’m saying is this: we can’t wait to see you and show off Henry. Just call first or, if you’re coming from out of town, let’s schedule the best times for you to come.

(More pictures tomorrow.)

This entry was posted on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 10:19 pm and is filed under Barnabas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.