Barnabas Monkeypants

“I don’t think I’m the kind of person who can stay at home all the time with a baby.”

That was Kristen’s mantra for all the years we’ve been together, up to and including her pregnancy.

“My God, how am I going to be able to go back to work with this baby here? I want to be around him all the time! I don’t want to miss anything!”

This is Kristen’s current mantra.

I can accept both. I understand that there are people that love children, love their children, but feel hampered by the constant caring of a child. These people go the childcare route (nanny, day care, wolf pack), and this is what we had always planned.

But you see, friends (that was my John McCain impression), opinions can change, and Kristen’s certainly has. Before, she said that she needed to work, to be away from the house. Now, she is dreading the thought.

I’ve been trying to wrack my brain to see how we can work this out. My internal calculator is constantly chugging along, and causing me much distress. (It’s nothing, really. I mean, adding that to my never-ending list of anxiety- and insomnia-causing issues is like throwing a cup of water into the Pacific Ocean.)

This is a tough one, and one that I don’t know what to do. We have bills. Not an inordinate amount of bills, but bills that need two incomes to pay (mostly because we bought a place that would require two incomes). We bought said place (which we love, by the way) with the idea that Kristen would work even after we had a baby, with childcare budgeted into our finances.

One of the options I immediately thought of was selling our place. And with the housing market as strong as it is, I’m sure we would make a hefty profit, and quickly be able to move into something smaller and cheaper. What’s that? The housing market’s down the crapper! Why wasn’t I informed about this! Get me Alan Greenspan on the phone!

Okay, so with that out of the question, what else have I thought of to make up the difference between Kristen’s salary and daycare (or what I like to call the “Oh-my-God-where-are-we-going-to-get-that-much-a-month?” budget)?

(crickets chirping)

Yeah, that’s what I thought, Cheli. Mr. Idea falls flat once again.

It’s tough. It’ll be heart wrenching for Kristen (just as it’s been heart wrenching for me) to not see Henry for long stretches during the day. Friends of ours have already gone through this, and nobody has said that it’s easy.

Maybe I’ll win the lottery. (Note to self: start playing the lottery.) Maybe some strange person will come upon this blog, understand our needs, and selflessly send us $50,000. (I’ve always wanted a benefactor.) Maybe I’ll write the most kick-ass book or screenplay and we’ll be showered with cash by adoring publishers or producers. (Another note to self: get off your but and finish those writing projects.) And maybe I’ll get that 25% raise that I really don’t deserve but sure would appreciate.

More than likely, we’ll just have to continue to try and work things out, reduce how much either of us works away from the house, change jobs, change cities, whatever. Ultimately, I just don’t want Kristen to have to do something that she doesn’t want to.

Sounds easy, right?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 at 4:27 pm and is filed under Barnabas, Kristen, Worry. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.