Barnabas Monkeypants

I got several emails about last week’s post about being tired, so I thought a little follow-up discussing how being tired has affected our marriage was in order.

Let me just say this: when you’re exhausted you don’t always have time for the social grease that makes normal interpersonal relationships run smoothly. Things quickly go from “Could you please get me the Desitin, Bubba” to “DESITIN! NOW!” Coupled with the inability to speak correctly that I mentioned last week and a corresponding inability to hear correctly that I forgot to mention last week, that “DESITIN! NOW!” can very easily come out as “DEZZTUN! NOO!” and very easily be heard as “GODDAMN YOU!”

You can perhaps see why this is a problem.

Sunday afternoon, Raphe and I had a nice little argument in the car as we were getting ready to go to the grocery store. It went like this:

Raphe: Did you just poop? Because there is nothing worse than a post-poop shower.
(Yes, everyone’s bowels are fair game for discussion these days.)
Me: <thinking>
(See, I knew there was something completely wrong with what Raphe has just said, but it took me a good 46 seconds to work out what it was.)
Me: Um. You mean post-shower poop?
(I know this is what he meant to say because he says it all the time. I think Raphe may be the only toilet-trained person on earth for whom pooping after he showers is a problem, but…well whatever.)
Raphe: No. Post-poop shower.
Me: NO, POST-SHOWER POOP.
(Studies show that sometimes increased volume helps the exhausted understand.)
Raphe: <pissy> POST-POOP SHOWER.
Me: POST. SHOWER. POOP.
Raphe: NO. No. NO. POST-POOP SHOWER.
Me: LISTEN to what you are SAYING. POST-POOP SHOWER? REALLY?
Raphe: <quiet> Wait, post-poop…no. Post-shower poop. You’re right.

Blissfully unaware of parental strife.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 12:39 pm and is filed under Poop. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.