Barnabas Monkeypants

“Book! Book!”
“Okay, Henry. One more book, but then you have to go to bed.”
“Brown Bear! Brown Bear!”
What? That was new.
When did he learn that? When did he learn those words? When did he start putting nouns and adjectives together?
That happened this evening right before he went to sleep, but it’s not so unusual. Kristen wrote [...]

No words necessary, methinks.

The standard uniform of the young urban hipster is very skinny jeans, an ironic t-shirt, and sunglasses from the early 80s. To a man, I want to punch each and every one of them.
Because I’m not a completely terrible person (and I’d rather not get arrested), I haven’t actually done any of the brawling. But [...]

Raphe and I used to talk about keeping a log of all the words Henry says, but we quickly gave that idea up because Henry seems to know another word or two every day. Off the top of my head, here’s a short list of Henry’s greatest hits:
Eat              More          Again         Open            Go             Sing
Read           [...]

Henry is a lovable, likable, and altogether wonderful. We all know that. He’s won national awards for this.
But of late, his great personality sometimes turns to grumpy or crabby … perhaps even surly. He will not eat his dinner. He refuses to nap. And for the past couple of weeks, he’s had nothing to do [...]

I have no entrepreneurial talent. My lone venture into doing something for myself business-wise was my failed comic book convention here in Chicago (which gave me no ends of gray hairs and sucked all of my savings down the drain).
But if I ever do start up a business again, I know exactly what I’d do. [...]

Kristen has made, over the past several years, countless false and scandalous accusations that I, as a child, had a mullet. This has led to many disagreements between us, because, as everyone knows, I never had nor I never will have a mullet. You see, she once saw a picture of me as a 14-year-old [...]